... and that's not just describing the state of my entries - but almost.
A new football season started this week - but not just on the pitch - as throughout the globe an army of pencil pushing, spreadsheet code, FIFA 2007 playing, spotty faced nerds have begun battle in the various fantasy football competitions.
It's an almost futile endeavour for the casual participant, as you have absolutely no chance of keeping up with who is playing or injured in your own REAL life club, and main rivals, let alone all the minor players that you're forced to buy in order to fit under the "salary cap".
This season I've declined almost every invitation for competitions and leagues, but still find myself playing in two fantasy football comps, a tipping league, and an NFL fantasy comp over at bodog (that one I'm actually looking forward too).
I have no real idea where the sites are (I've bookmarked them somewhere), what the rules are, or how often you are supposed to update these things, and I suspect that my SPAM filter greedily chews up all the reminder emails that were going to be sent out.
So after a week of competiton I am rock bottom of an 8 team league in one competiton (after only 6 of my team actually turned up to play on opening weekend) although I was surprised to see that was still the 32nd percentile overall ...
Does that mean that 31% of teams actually did worse than I did?! Ddi their managers die before submitting a team?
And in the other competitino my mid-week performance was a shocking 18 points after I didn't bother to swap out all my Arsenal and Liverpool players - I think you get unlimited transfers in this comp - although staggeringly that still left me in about 238,000 place from 1.2 million entrants ?!!
Come on guys - don't tell me that you've abandoned your teams already ... Oh - whats that? You have - and you're still beating me?